/o_o/... /o_o/... /o_o/... /o_o/...\o_o\ ??

gallimaufry - gal·li·mau·fry - /ˌga-lə-ˈmȯ-frē/ n.
(pl. -ies) a heterogeneous mixture; a collection of odds and ends/a motley assortment of things

GENKI GENKI!

I tumblr whenever I feel sick of the real world, which kinda happens a lot.
Ask me anything

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad:
Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad:
Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad:
Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad:
Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad:
Hey are you awake? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad:
Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad:
I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad:
Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad:
Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad:
Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad:
It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad:
Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad:
*puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad:
My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad:
Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad:
Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad:
I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad:
Fuck the government.
Dad:
Fuck the school board.
Dad:
Close the door.
Dad:
Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad:
I love puns.
Dad:
People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad:
Please shut up.
Dad:
Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad:
I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad:
I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were a part of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad:
You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad:
Barbara Park is fucking Queen.
Dad:
I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad:
If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad:
They act like I care what they think.
Dad:
I hate homework.
Dad:
I have decided to become a politician.
Dad:
What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

thatfunnyblog:

SAVE YOURSELVES!!! lol

Funny Stuff you like?

(Source: seriando)

newyorker:

Every day on our home page, we share a cartoon based on the day’s events. Today’s cartoon by Mick Stevens: http://nyr.kr/1eAHYPt

(Source: newyorker.com)

The obsession with suicide is characteristic of the man who can neither live nor die, and whose attention never swerves from this double impossibility.

Emil Cioran (via blackestdespondency)

k-ushina:

People become stronger because there are memories that they will not forget.

You realize you are not alone, right? No one in their twenties has life figured out. It’s okay to be a mess. You’re living.

Things my therapist told me today that almost made me burst out into tears. (via scottsdisicks)

(Source: betterfailings)

(Source: rinnegans)

Howl’s Moving Castle - ハウルの動く城

(Source: claene)

There’s as many atoms in a single molecule of your DNA as there are stars in the typical galaxy. We are, each of us, a little universe.

Neil deGrasse Tyson, Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey (Ep 2: Some of the Things that Molecules Do)

(Source: ckerouac)

and I’m over it,
I’m over it,
I promise I’m over it.
But it still hurts sometimes.

phrase of my life.  (via lonachu)

(Source: lauraelizabethross)

"If someday the moon calls you by your name don’t be surprised,
Because every night,I tell her about you.”

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